Some might call it fate

...but I call it an act of God.
(For the sake of being REAL, I am going to speak the truth in this blog)

See, as much as I resist spontaneity, I decided last minute to fly out to Colorado to spend 8 days with my friend Stacie (StacieRue). Little did I know, the very day after I arrive here in the Springs, I would stumble upon earth-shattering news (for me, but celebration worthy for every other person I have ever come in contact with). I spent the entire first day of my vacation in sobs. I did not want to talk. I did not want to move. I did not want to be here. I was sick to my stomach the entire day. That night I barely slept. I kept waking up in tears and sweat. I was in a stupor. I am still in shock. It does not seem real. I keep asking myself how this could possibly be happening all ready...and why...
I was so angry that this HAD to happen at the beginning of my trip. This thing that I have been dreading for months. Stacie tried her hardest to keep my spirits up. I didn't talk much the first two days.

Then today happened.
(Just to clarify, I am in no way over this. Today just helped tremendously.)

Stacie took me up to Manitou Springs. It is this delightful Hippie town up in the mountains. The most beautiful place I have ever seen. We walked around and shopped with her friend's 6-year-old daughter, Hannah. We played games at the Penny Arcade. I sampled the famous Lemonade as well as the even more famous Mate ("Mah-tay" : A South American tea with some weird caffeine-like particle). The sun and the wind was perfection. I felt refreshed. I watch a large group of hippies playing drums and dancing in a little park. I got a "hey, baby" from the most delicious guy. Out here the guys think I am attractive. Back home, I am over-looked, because I don't dress up or curl my hair or wear heels. That is not the kind of girl I am. I have confidence here. At home all I feel is like I have no where to grow. No future there.

Walking around Manitou, I realized that God sent me to Colorado.

Had I stayed home, I would have been all alone for a whole week. Getting the news of the engagement would have left me destroyed with no one to help me. I cannot honestly imagine what I would have done to myself. With Natalie at the beach and every other friend of mine congratulating the happy couple, I would have had no one. It would have been too much. God sent me here, because He knew that I would need to be away. I am confident in that.

I have 5 more days left of my vacation, and I have to say that I will be very sad to leave.

I am dreading what is waiting for me. What more hurt is coming my way, because my heart is still involved.

Until then, I will enjoy the get-a-way the God gave me.

Love you all.

well...

Congratulations.





.

Development

I learned some things about myself today that I am not too proud of.

I have spent my entire life thus far failing to listen to other people. Failing to appreciate what other people had to contribute to my life. I cannot help but ask myself why? Slowly, I am going though the music on my computer, and the sheer beauty and simple brilliance of most of it slapped this girl into her self-revelation. Why did I spend years fighting to listen to anything BUT this music during the many car rides we shared? Why did I object to every movie put up for movie night (every night).
That brings me to the second thing I came to realize about myself this evening. I have become the very person that I chose to leave nine months ago. The only thing I desire to do nowadays is sit on my couch and watch movie after movie, or TV episode after TV episode. While I would like to say that it is out of pure appreciation for the art of cinema and television, I know that it is simply because I am unhappy. I concluded that you socialize when you are happy, and you hide away when you are unhappy. Which made me realize that he was not happy with me in the end. He was where I am. Now he is happy. Good for him. I will get there again one day.
Until then, I will enjoy the movie suggestions I refused to listen to for so many years.

As my wise mother told me today...

We go through things in life for one of three reasons. Discipline, Development, or...forgive me, I cannot remember the third one...

I am being developed.

So many types of lessons

Today has been a day of learning for me.

First off, I learned the DIRE importance of flossing. I know, it's gross that I don't floss regularly, but it is the ONE habit i never could get in to. I brush twice-a-day, sometimes more if I'm going out. Mouthwash? Check. But anyways...
I went to the dentist this morning for a cleaning and to get them to look into some of the pain I was experiencing last week. I left with a $700 root canal and future appointments for 3 cavities and a cleaning...they couldn't even do my cleaning today.
So lesson one: Floss.
Lesson two: Lortab WORKS!

Lesson three is a bit more complicated...I don't know what the lesson is yet. God's trying to teach me something...
Today I was let go from the cafe.
Allow me to provide a little back story.
About 3 weeks ago, I was about an hour and a half late to work one morning for 2 reasons:
1) I have a sleeping problem that makes my sleep patterns uncontrollable and unpredictable
&
2) I turned off my alarm in my sleep
That was not a good Morning.
Yesterday morning, I woke up 3 hours after I was supposed to be at work.
My phone died during the night.
It couldn't be helped.
There was no way my body could possibly know what time to wake up.
I went directly to Target and invested in a very nice and expensive alarm clock to insure that this would not happen again, and the alarm clock did it's job.
However, because of my two oversleeping mishaps, I had to be let go.

Highlands Cafe has been my home for the past two years.
It was all that I had left of what made me me.
Now I'm lost again.
I don't know why God is taking things away from me, but I know there is something to be learned here, and I must always remember that he is GOOD.

Here I am, Lord.
Mold me.

Serenity

Good Morning, Friends.

(Forgive the morning face and hair)

At 6:15 this morning, I decided to get out of bed and make some breakfast.

Nothing special.

I walk into my kitchen and notice something I haven't appreciated in a long time...

Silence.

I am always trying to escape it.

I always have the TV on or friends to keep me company.

I've been afraid of it until this moment.

That is when I decided I was going to sit at my tiffany blue breakfast table and enjoy a silent, peaceful breakfast with tea.

I made the most delightful Earl Grey.

4 sugars and a splash of milk.

The only thing that made this morning absolutely perfect was the grey overcast outside my window.

Sunshine and blue skies would have ruined everything.

And for the first time, I am enjoying the birds that start singing at 3:30 AM rather than cursing them.

God has given me this moment for myself and to sit and be with Him.

On a side note, my dear friend, Rachel, over at A Klassy Lady graduates in about 3 hours.

Congratulations, my darling!

I could not be more proud of you.

You have worked so hard for this.

I love you.

:)

"Pepsi...For Those Who Think Young"

This is an ad for Pepsi.
This is why a woman came into the cafe this morning requesting to speak to our supplier.
Here is our dialog:

Woman: "You usually sell Mountain Dew, right?"
Me: "Yes, ma'am. We're out right now, though. Today's our shopping day, so we should have some later."
Woman: "Who is your supplier?"
Me: "That would be Rachel Roll or Carrie Norris."
Woman: "Are either of them here? Are they shopping right now?"

(Here I'm thinking I'm going to get reported for selling too many Mtn. Dews)

Me: "No, but Rachel is going shopping in a few hours and she'll be here after that."
Woman: "Oh, well can I have one of their numbers? I'm here because Christians are boycotting Pepsi products, and Mountain Dew is a Pepsi Product..."
Me: "Yes, ma'am..."
Woman: "...And I was hoping you would help us."

(Now I am at a loss for words. Customers are lining up.)
Me: "Um, can you hang on just one second?"
(She steps back so I can do my JOB. I then mouth to Elizabeth Owen "SAVE ME!" and start laughing silently. I make all the drinks and readdress the woman.)

Me: "...........Um............Why exactly are they--I mean we--boycotting Pepsi?"
Woman: "They have donated bundles of money in supporting gay rights, and have been very public about picking sides. We are boycotting, hoping that they will be less vocal about their choice. And you know Gatorade is a Pepsi product as well. Powerade is also cheaper!"
Me: "Well, I'm not sure why we get Gatorade over Powerade...I can give you Carrie's number."

(WHOOPS. Yeah should have given her the Church's number and told her to ask for Carrie. I was lost and confused and trapped in a corner by a crazy person. She thanks me, and I immediately text Carrie to apologize for the crazy phone call she was about to receive.)

END OF STORY

Anywho, this woman got me going. I think that when a believer is asked to vote on something opposing gay marriage/rights/what have you, then do just that. Vote. (Example: Prop 8) What good is Boycotting a company going to do? What good could it possibly do to our purpose to reach out to the righteous, but not the WORLD as it is. We can't stand on our platforms pointing fingers and damning those who we are supposed to be loving. Telling people that you're boycotting Pepsi for something they support is translated as "I'm ignorant and hateful" to the very people we are trying to reach. Come down from the pedestal, and find a better means for your cause.

Now hiring...

I am now taking applications for anyone who wants to unpack my clothes and hang them in their proper place in my closet.

Having said that bit I shall move on...

I am so grateful for the blessing God has given me. I now live in a beautiful apartment that WORKS! It's comfortable and spacious, and I love it. Tonight is the first party in the new place. A happenin' Cinco de Mayo shindig. There will be Mexican food, lights, decorations, Latin party music, and lots of friends. I hope our neighbors don't call the cops this time! Of course, if the cops DO come, we will have already won our neighbors over with free tacos and virgin margaritas! Ole!

Copy Cat

(Inspired by the Beautiful Rachel)

Since this is me at work today,

I'm going to pretend I'm here by myself in silence....