Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Some might call it fate
...but I call it an act of God.
(For the sake of being REAL, I am going to speak the truth in this blog)
See, as much as I resist spontaneity, I decided last minute to fly out to Colorado to spend 8 days with my friend Stacie (StacieRue). Little did I know, the very day after I arrive here in the Springs, I would stumble upon earth-shattering news (for me, but celebration worthy for every other person I have ever come in contact with). I spent the entire first day of my vacation in sobs. I did not want to talk. I did not want to move. I did not want to be here. I was sick to my stomach the entire day. That night I barely slept. I kept waking up in tears and sweat. I was in a stupor. I am still in shock. It does not seem real. I keep asking myself how this could possibly be happening all ready...and why...
I was so angry that this HAD to happen at the beginning of my trip. This thing that I have been dreading for months. Stacie tried her hardest to keep my spirits up. I didn't talk much the first two days.
Then today happened.
(Just to clarify, I am in no way over this. Today just helped tremendously.)
Stacie took me up to Manitou Springs. It is this delightful Hippie town up in the mountains. The most beautiful place I have ever seen. We walked around and shopped with her friend's 6-year-old daughter, Hannah. We played games at the Penny Arcade. I sampled the famous Lemonade as well as the even more famous Mate ("Mah-tay" : A South American tea with some weird caffeine-like particle). The sun and the wind was perfection. I felt refreshed. I watch a large group of hippies playing drums and dancing in a little park. I got a "hey, baby" from the most delicious guy. Out here the guys think I am attractive. Back home, I am over-looked, because I don't dress up or curl my hair or wear heels. That is not the kind of girl I am. I have confidence here. At home all I feel is like I have no where to grow. No future there.
Walking around Manitou, I realized that God sent me to Colorado.
Had I stayed home, I would have been all alone for a whole week. Getting the news of the engagement would have left me destroyed with no one to help me. I cannot honestly imagine what I would have done to myself. With Natalie at the beach and every other friend of mine congratulating the happy couple, I would have had no one. It would have been too much. God sent me here, because He knew that I would need to be away. I am confident in that.
I have 5 more days left of my vacation, and I have to say that I will be very sad to leave.
I am dreading what is waiting for me. What more hurt is coming my way, because my heart is still involved.
Until then, I will enjoy the get-a-way the God gave me.
Love you all.