Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Some might call it fate

...but I call it an act of God.
(For the sake of being REAL, I am going to speak the truth in this blog)

See, as much as I resist spontaneity, I decided last minute to fly out to Colorado to spend 8 days with my friend Stacie (StacieRue). Little did I know, the very day after I arrive here in the Springs, I would stumble upon earth-shattering news (for me, but celebration worthy for every other person I have ever come in contact with). I spent the entire first day of my vacation in sobs. I did not want to talk. I did not want to move. I did not want to be here. I was sick to my stomach the entire day. That night I barely slept. I kept waking up in tears and sweat. I was in a stupor. I am still in shock. It does not seem real. I keep asking myself how this could possibly be happening all ready...and why...
I was so angry that this HAD to happen at the beginning of my trip. This thing that I have been dreading for months. Stacie tried her hardest to keep my spirits up. I didn't talk much the first two days.

Then today happened.
(Just to clarify, I am in no way over this. Today just helped tremendously.)

Stacie took me up to Manitou Springs. It is this delightful Hippie town up in the mountains. The most beautiful place I have ever seen. We walked around and shopped with her friend's 6-year-old daughter, Hannah. We played games at the Penny Arcade. I sampled the famous Lemonade as well as the even more famous Mate ("Mah-tay" : A South American tea with some weird caffeine-like particle). The sun and the wind was perfection. I felt refreshed. I watch a large group of hippies playing drums and dancing in a little park. I got a "hey, baby" from the most delicious guy. Out here the guys think I am attractive. Back home, I am over-looked, because I don't dress up or curl my hair or wear heels. That is not the kind of girl I am. I have confidence here. At home all I feel is like I have no where to grow. No future there.

Walking around Manitou, I realized that God sent me to Colorado.

Had I stayed home, I would have been all alone for a whole week. Getting the news of the engagement would have left me destroyed with no one to help me. I cannot honestly imagine what I would have done to myself. With Natalie at the beach and every other friend of mine congratulating the happy couple, I would have had no one. It would have been too much. God sent me here, because He knew that I would need to be away. I am confident in that.

I have 5 more days left of my vacation, and I have to say that I will be very sad to leave.

I am dreading what is waiting for me. What more hurt is coming my way, because my heart is still involved.

Until then, I will enjoy the get-a-way the God gave me.

Love you all.


  1. I'm so blessed to be able to be a part of all that God is doing in you on this trip! I'm so glad He used to me bring you away from the initial shock and hurt. I'm glad you love my home, I love it, and I love you! So now you know you always have an amazing place to get away when you just have to go somewhere :) Love, Stacie

  2. love it.
    love sucks.
    fake love sucks harder.

    glad youre okay.
    glad youre home.